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God created the family to be the foundational building block
of society. Without the family, there will be no nation, no
community, and no church. As God’s people, we have to
examine the family in the light of Holy Scripture. God
created the family. He also tells us how the family should
be run. There is an order in the family that is revealed to
us in the Holy Scriptures.
The basis for our relationship with God is love
(Eph. 3:17-19). The basis for our relationship with others
is also love. We are to forebear one another in love (Eph.
4:2). We are to speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15). We are
to walk in love (Eph. 5:1). Believing wives are to submit
lovingly to their husbands, and believing husbands are to
love their wives (Eph. 5:25).
Authority of the Parents
Love is also the basis for the parent-child relationship.
The love of children for their parents is expressed in
obeying and honouring the parents. The love of parents for
their children is expressed in training and nurturing them
in the ways of God.
A. Obey Your Parents
Obedience presupposes authority. Authority is often despised
because we look at authority as prohibitive. But biblical
authority is not prohibitive but protective. To obey
literally means to “hear under” – to hear and to come under
the authority of the person. Obedience to parents is part of
the divine law. This is the first duty of every child (Exod.
21:17; Deut. 21:18-21).
Children, obey your parents. There are four reasons for
parental obedience.
·
It is God’s command.
·
It is the divine order of the family.
·
It is for the welfare and protection of the children.
·
It is a picture of the relationship between God and man.
B. Honour Your Parents
The word “honour” means “to prize highly,” or “to show
respect.” When the children mature, marry and have their own
families, the authority of the parents decreases, but not
their honour.
Encouragement
of the parents
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right”
(Eph. 6:1). The phrase “in the Lord” describes the proper
attitude of a person who is in subordination. It describes
the attitude of children (Eph. 6:1), the wife (Eph.
5:21-22), the servant (Eph. 6:5-7), and also parents. The
phrase “in the Lord” presupposes the parents’ obedience and
submission to our Lord and His commands.
Parents are to be consistent examples of the faith
for their children. However, our failures do not disqualify
us or limit what we are to teach our children. Parents are
to teach their children what the Bible teaches.
A. Provoke not
“Provoke” means to come alongside and to instigate to anger,
and to cause the child to be in a constant state of
resentment against his parents. Parents provoke children to
wrath in two ways:
1. Over-discipline
·
Over-discipline is the abuse of parental power.
·
Over-discipline is inequitable discipline, when the
discipline is not proportionate to the offence.
·
Over-discipline is unnecessary discipline. Parents must
learn to distinguish between honest mistakes and deliberate
defiance.
2. Under-discipline
·
Under-discipline is haphazard discipline.
·
Under-discipline is inconsistent discipline. When the rules
change from day to day.
·
Under-discipline is biased discipline or favouritism.
·
Under-discipline is divided discipline when the father and
mother have different rules.
·
Under-discipline is confused discipline.
B. Nurture and Admonish
Parents are to “nurture” and “admonish.” These two words are
used to describe a continual process. To “nurture” means “to
teach.” It speaks of a structured training programme.
“Admonition” is derived from the words meaning the “mind”
and “to set upright.” Literally, it means to set the mind
right. As a child grows, the discipline must change in its
emphasis from a structured training programme to training of
self-discipline.
Conclusion
Parents are to nurture and admonish, and they are to do it
in the Lord. The Word of God is the basis for our authority.
And the discipline or discipling of our children must
reflect our Lord’s discipline of us. |
