Text: Ephesians 4:17–32

Introduction

Children quarrel and fight but they do not harbour a grudge for very long.

However, it’s common to find an adult who has become embittered and resentful.  The person who was once happy, gentle and forgiving has become bitter, unforgiving and refuses reconciliation.

The Bible speaks about this common problem of bitterness or resentment.

I.   The Problem of Resentment

1.      What is anger?

a.          Anger simply means a strong feeling of displeasure and irritation.

b.         When anger erupts into conflict, and goes unresolved, rage and resentment may begin to emerge.

2.      The danger of anger

a.          Some people pretend that they have no anger.

b.         Some people vent, by letting out all their anger.

3.      Anger becomes a problem, when it is under reaction or over reaction.

a.          When we under react, we suppress our anger, often without realizing what we are doing.

b.         When we over react, our anger is out of control.

4.      The truth about anger

5.      The cause of anger

a.          Fear

b.         Hurt

c.          Frustration 

II.  The Biblical Response to Anger

The Bible gives us several directives concerning anger.

1.      Proverbs’ Advice

a.          The word “aph” is translated “anger” in Proverbs 15:1 “grievous words stir up anger” (also Prov 15:18).

This word is used 10 times, but we will examine only a few of them.

(1)        Proverbs 14:29, “He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding.”

(a)        Proverbs 15:18, “A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.”

(b)        Proverbs 16:32a says, “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty (a warrior ready for a fight).

(2)        How can we control our anger?

            Proverbs 19:11a, “The discretion of a man deferreth his anger….”

            Proverbs 21:14a, “A gift in secret pacifieth anger.”

b.         The word “hamah” used for anger often describes burning anger, or the heat that comes with uncontrolled anger.

 (1)       Proverbs 15:18a, “A wrathful man stirreth up strife…”

(2)        Proverb 16:14, “The wrath of a king is as messengers of death: but a wise man will pacify it.” 

2.      Jesus’ Advice

a.          The Lord Jesus teaches us to pray in the Lord’s Prayer, “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matt 6:12).

b.         Matthew 6:14, 15

“For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you (Matt 6:14).

But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matt 6:15).

This should impress the importance and necessity of forgiving others.

c.          The Lord Jesus gave the same lesson in the parable of the unforgiving steward (Matt 18:21–35). 

3.      Paul’s advice

a.          Anger in itself is not sinful.     

b.         But anger is wrong when it makes us bitter against people, and leads us to hate them, and wants us to do or say evil against them,

            So, Paul says, “…let not the sun go down upon your wrath” (Eph 4:26b).  “Neither give place to the devil” (Eph 4:27).

c.          Paul’s advice in Ephesians 4:31, 32.

            “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice” (v.31).

(1)        Paul listed six things which the Christian is not allowed in his life.

(2)        Paul says, all these must be “put away from you” (Eph 4:31).

(3)        We must learn to be like Christ — full of compassion, loving, forgiving, tender and kind — Hymn 376, second stanza. 

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